The Final Decision

I’d finally come to a decision to talk to him about my feelings for him. It doesn’t even matters to me whether he like me or not bcoz it is a fact that had feelings for him. Yan told me that this is not a good idea, that if he is a guy who likes to show off, he'll tell whole world. But i'm just tellin a fact, i'm not doin anything that i'm ashamed of... am i? Though it might sound selfish, I just want to get it out and get over with it. There is no use to waste time thinking of something that might not be there in the place right? In fact, at times I do think that it is not there. I feel that it is time to put a stop to this. If I don’t figure this out, I’m afraid that I’ll step too deep and I’ll suffer even more. I don’t put any expectations on the outcome coz I’d come to a point that I’m going to give up and make a final cut to make it clear to myself so that I don’t think about it anymore MUAHAHAHA I’m so bad. I believe by then we could become better friends without the boundary of “possible” between us. It’s for the better I guess… F4 had been very supportive… they also think I should talk to him about this and don’t guess and drag anymore.

These few days I feel very down. I reject out almost everything I eat during lunch time. The more i put thoughts in my mind, the worst it is my mood level. I don’t really have mood to work anymore. Listening to the “silly” things my boss say just annoyed me… although I almost have no feelings or reactions towards what he said. Coz I know at the end of the day, whatever he say or do will just end up where he started =)) =))