Tired... So Tired

It’s been a tiring couple of months. From feeling irritated with the new manager to an emotionless state. Lately I felt hopeless and going into hibernation mode. I thought the 10 days of long CNY holidays will cure my boredom but it turns out that as soon as I’m back to work, it’s another tiring day. I like the job I’m doing but definitely do not like some of the people I’m dealing with. Most of all I MISS F4!! (Btw F4 is my 'chi muis' in my ex-company)

But I guess the main reason I feel so tired is because of some unresolved personal feelings. A close friend told me not to analyze his behaviours and just enjoy his companion coz at the end the day, I might hurt myself for nothing… and when I think back in future, I’ll feel silly. If only I could do that… If I could just enjoys his companion without thinking about how he feels about me. It would be easy if I don’t have any feelings for him. It’s because I do care and that is bugging me. My brain is not listening to me, it kept interpreting every single thing that he do and provide me feedback. I did set up various firewalls to block these feedbacks but it seems useless =|. I’m sooo doomed, I have virus in my brain.. spreaded from my heart =)) =)). I don’t know how long I can stand this anymore. One day when I’m over my limit, I’ll tell him everything and get over with it MUAHAHAHA. I guess I’m thinking too much… lets get back to hibernation :P